Heart Felt Puppets

Finger puppets are a cinch to make with two hearts cut from felt or other heavy weight fabric. Glue the edges together leaving the bottom open for fitting onto your finger. Decorate the hearts with fabric paints, yarn, pom pons, google eyes, glitter, and other trim to create a neighborhood full of friendly finger puppets to play with or give away. This project is suitable for any kid whether they are 3 or 33! They are great for quiet play to keep children entertained but can work for adults too. Heart felt puppets could also be used to adorn a special bottle of wine for a friend, add Valentine flair to candy pops or suckers on a stick, or make larger versions to use has as gift wrapping for a special piece of jewelry or other small gift.

Stuck on You

It is harder and harder for kids to come up with something creative they can give to adults on Valentine’s Day. These hearts won’t get pushed into a drawer because they can be used all year long. To make, cut heart shapes from colorful, thin foam sheets you can buy at any craft store, then add embellishments with craft glue and cut out letters, glitter, smaller foam shapes, decorative ribbon and more. With your creative magic they can become faces, message boards for words of love, or mini works of art. After they dry, attach a stick on magnet to the back and they are ready to give. These magnets will have a life long after Valentine’s Day as they decorate and hold up messages on file cabinets, desks, and refrigerators everywhere. I still have some from several years ago on my fridge today!

Button Up Hearts

To turn any shirt into a Valentine Shirt, cut tiny hearts from craft foam, cut a tiny X in the middle and fit over the buttons of your finest white shirt. Presto, you just went from drab to dazzling! Hmm do you think you can get Dad to wear them to work on Valentine’s Day!

Communication skills are important in personal relationships and business. Unfortunately, the bulk of the information and training focuses on the spoken word, often leaving the body language to chance. And trust me; the ‘body talk’ speaks volumes! The tricky part about non-verbal is we all pick up on it and know what it means but if you confront the non-verbal communicator they can easily claim they don’t know what you are talking about. Most non-verbal communication clues can be positive or negative but I have found my audience members intuitively know what’s going on and rarely make mistakes when reading the non-verbal clues. So what’s the deal? If we can see it in others and know the clues, why can’t we control it in ourselves?

I’ll tell you why, we are creatures of habit or in denial or maybe we just don’t care enough to pay attention to our own ‘body talk’. If you are choosing not to master your non-verbal communication skills you could be sending mixed signals and quite possibly hurting your relationships at home and work.

Here some non-verbal clue categories and what they communicate:

Body Posture or Angle: We say we are listening but clearly have our body turned away as if to block connection. The reverse is, we respect or like someone so we fully face them, lean forward and perhaps touch them lightly if we agree on a point or view they share.

Eye Contact or No Eye Contact: Clearly a clue of how someone feels about you and can tell so much more than the words they choose to share. Pretty obvious; eye contact means you are present, darting eyes or no contact means you’d rather be somewhere else and you are not present.

General Attention Clues: We feign attention yet continue shuffling papers, taking texts, checking calendars, etc. during a conversation or meeting. You can say you are there but in truth you are not.

Arms and Legs: Crossed arms clearly say you’re not agreeing, not interested or you are guarded while your words may say ‘sure that’s a good idea and I will get back to you on that.’ In addition, crossed body parts can mean you are nervous and need to protect yourself until you feel more secure communicating.

What to know more about non-verbal communication? Check out this body language guide on The Grindstone website; http://thegrindstone.com/uncategorized/a-guide-to-the-importance-of-body-language-in-business-298/ .

Now where did I put that leotard?

Too often we rely on our limited experiences to make judgments and decisions every day. We perceive situations, food, music, individuals and even whole countries by an often outdated, second or third hand experience.  If you’ve attended a high school class reunion or happened to run into someone who knew you as  a child, you know what I’m talking about. No matter what you have become, done or accomplished former classmates assume you to be as you were ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Our experiences have changed us but those who knew us before often hold onto their past view of who we were.  Is it any wonder we have discord and misunderstandings in the world?

Let go of preconceived notions and expand your day-to-day experiences, pull yourself out of the rut of ‘same old, same old’ and learn to fully appreciate the variety that exists in the world.  Where do you start? Small, of course and work up!

1. Retrain your palate.  Are you a regular who eats the same thing for lunch or breakfast? Is Wednesday always meatloaf and Friday pizza? Has it been years since you set foot in a new restaurant? Mix it up a bit and try that new Mexican place, give Brussel sprouts a chance, or grill salmon the next time instead of burgers. The worst is you won’t like it and you get to try something else the next time!

2. Culture won’t kill you  Do you remember a museum as some place an adult made you spend hours of time when you really wanted to be outside? Many museums today now have interactive exhibits; often feature local artists, and shows that change every few weeks. Check out what museums within a sixty mile radius have to offer and note the exhibits or special activities they have planned for the summer.

3. Ear for music I always loved stations that played music from my college years but shied away from current pop and country. Then my daughter got an iPod and as I downloaded tunes for her, guess what? I actually liked many of the songs! Now I find myself tuning into different stations in the car and learning lyrics to new songs. My taste of music has expanded and so can yours.

4. In your own backyard Often we plan elaborate trips and vacations to far away places but spend little time exploring what is within a few hundred miles of our home. I’m not saying give up your get-a-ways, but also take time, save money and energy by exploring the sites within your area. A quick, on-line search can reveal a year’s worth of day and weekend trips to satisfy your quest for adventure.

5. Set in your ways Do you always sit the same place at the dinner table, church, in the car, or the family room? We can become so comfortable in ‘our seat’ that we become irritated when someone dares to sit there! Let it go and try moving yourself around so you have a different view of the same old places. You might like it.

No excuses, branch out, stick your big toe in the water and dare to try something new. Be brave enough to open yourself up to new experiences, new points of view, and perhaps new connections.

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” Leo Tolstoy

]]> http://fullplatenofork.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/perception-deception/feed/ 0 darlafpnf http://fullplatenofork.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/to-do-or-not-to-do-that-is-the-real-question/ http://fullplatenofork.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/to-do-or-not-to-do-that-is-the-real-question/#comments Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:00:32 +0000 Darla Arni http://fullplatenofork.wordpress.com/?p=288 ]]>

It‘s  January, the start of a new year and the start of new lists. Or at least that’s what everyone says we should do. But we know from  experience that the well-intentioned lists of January often turn into the regrets of February, (OK, maybe March or April if you are really good.) Why does this happen? It happens because the sugar high from goodies ingested during the holidays impairs our judgment and we tend to get a bit too lofty in our goal setting. As reality sets in and we move into the implementation phase we back off, regroup, or just forget the list altogether. Not a good recipe for success is it?

I first noticed this phenomenon in a kick-boxing class that met three days a week at our local YMCA.  All year long there was plenty of room in the class, in fact there was space left over so you could kick and box with all your gusto and never hit another human being. I loved that! Then January rolled around. Instantly the class became crowded with people who apparently put ‘get in shape’ on their New Year’s Resolution list. I got elbowed, stepped on, punched and kicked from every direction. The exercise high of getting into ‘the zone’ was  replaced by a ‘get this over and get out of here’ attitude.  By mid-February it all changed; while we gained one or two class members the rest had either given up or decided to try another class.  And so it goes, each year we set unrealistic goals, which are often the same ones we had last year and the year before, get discouraged, and go back to our old habits.  Which makes me think the whole resolutions list is overrated. What if instead of resolving what to do in the year ahead we make a list of what we won’t do? Maybe it’s easier to get rid of a negative behavior than it is to add a positive one. So that’s what I have done. The difference is, my list should be adhered to for the rest of your life, not just 2012.

Darla’s Top Ten “Not To Do” List

1. Do not take your blessings for granted. Practice gratitude for little the stuff each day.

2. Do not be quick to judge, criticize or blame. Its 3 things but they go together to create a negative energy drain in our life and relationships.

3. Do not harbor negative thoughts. They are like poison and multiply fast!

4. Do not hold grudges. Let it go. Really.

5. Do not cause pain for yourself or others. There is already enough in the world. We don’t need to create more.

6. Do not try to do it all.  Asking for help is not failure.

7. Do not limit yourself.  Expand and think big for yourself and others.

8. Do not be afraid. Fear is not fatal and comfort zones do expand.

9. Do not neglect yourself. Nurturing yourself is not indulgence.

10. Do not worry.  It’s just a bad habit and keeps you from the reality of NOW.

I  know this doesn’t cover everything, but it’s a start.  What would be on your Top Ten “Not To Do” List?   Right now I’m going to make a copy of mine and post it in a prominent place. Happy 2012!

I would like to introduce you to Dexter, our 2-year-old Yorkie who is wise beyond his years. I’ve learned a lot from Dexter and decided perhaps you too could benefit from his particular brand of wisdom. From time to time, I will share an insight, a view, a preference and an occasional cute picture from Dexter that will serve to inspire us all!

First a little history. I have several friends who have Yorkies and for a while our daughter had been hounding, I mean politely mentioning, how ‘cute they were and wouldn’t it be just great to have our own’? We heard it so much that we started to believe it ourselves and started a secret search to find one that would be the perfect match for our family. In our quest we realized there was a Yorkie breeder living in   our area and gave them a call. One of her dogs recently had two pups, a male and female, but they were both spoken for. She assured us that there would be others available and we prepared to wait. Lucky for us she called us back a few weeks later saying the family who had the male dog changed their mind and would we be interested? Of course we said yes and my husband and I went to check him out. He was his adorable self and on the spot decided he was meant for us. He had been named Dexter and become used to it so, despite the fact that the only other Dexter I’d ever heard of was a serial killer, we accepted him name and all!

As you can tell from the photo, he is an avid sun worshiper. His best friend is Sparkle, our 11-year-old saved from the pound terrier mix, and they both enjoy wrestling, napping and any brand of doggie treats! Dexter has become quite close to my husband, Paul, who swore he would never have a little dog in the house. It seems he has changed his mind!

Studies on happiness reveal that happier people do not spend much time comparing themselves to others. Of course that is easier said than done. Most of us compare ourselves, our kids, and our economic status to our friends, neighbors, and colleagues. We make assumptions that other people are happier, more in love, more cared about than we are.

The problem with comparing ourselves to others is that some of our assumptions may not be true. People usually put up a good front. Many people show us what they want us to see. They don’t show us their pain about their relationships, the problems with their kids, or their unhappiness or depression.

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, take a moment to question whether you are basing your comparison on reality. Sure they might have a nicer house than yours but they might be struggling to make payments. Their kids might seem to be excelling in sports but how much pressure are they under? They may have a smile on their face but what is it hiding? You will most likely never know if what you assume is accurate, so why bother comparing?

Self care is controlling the comparisons. When you find yourself comparing, substitute a few minutes of being thankful for what you have instead.

Karen Rowinsky, LMSW, is a licensed master social worker. She has a private counseling practice in Overland Park, Kansas.

Contact her at: 913-663-3511 or http://www.overlandparkcounseling.com/

Yes tomorrow is the official day that we set aside for being ‘Thankful’ but in reality Thanksgiving Day should be a reminder/wakeup call to be thankful, grateful or mindful every day of the year! My challenge to you is to help me do a 365!  I am starting a thankful list on this blog and am challenging all my followers and friends to add to it in the comments section. The goal? To reach a grand total of at least 365 items to be thankful for before Thanksgiving Day is over.

Can we do it? Yes we can!!

I am thankful for: good health, home, my daughter, my husband, my little mama, my son and daughter-in-law, brothers, sister-in-laws, nephews and their families, my great-nephew, our dogs Sparkle and Dexter, all my aunts, uncles and cousins, my faith, freedom, my eyesight, my hearing, my strange mind, creativity, my legs for exercising, sense of touch, sunshine, sunrise, sunset, the smell of rain, fingers to type with, my friends of all ages, backgrounds, and interests who make my life so much fun, good memories that sustain me, bad memories to learn from, silence, giggling babies, hot chocolate, my voice, singing, rhythm, pumpkins, squash, chocolate, pecans, old photographs, books, shoes, clothes, reading glasses, fingernails, fuzzy socks, popcorn, warm soup on a cold day, hot apple cider, sticky notes, my car, feet for walking, soft, warm blankets, puppies, clients who hire me to speak, Facebook friends, the Mogul Mom Community, the ability to be a friend to others, learning that never ends, listening skills, compassion, grandmothers, inventors, my imagination that fuels my soul, artwork that appeals to the heart and eye, teachers of all kinds, disciplines, and temperaments, volunteers that make our world better for no other reason but to make it better, journals with blank pages waiting to be filled, the smell of cinnamon, the musicality of my mother’s wind chimes from the farm that sounds like God talking to me, artist talent, electricity, LinkedIn connections, people who understand computers, and much, much MORE!

Now it’s your turn; comment on this blog by listing what you are thankful for and help me meet the 365 challenge!

There comes a point when the clutter and disorganization are becoming distracting and you have to stop everything and straighten up.

My moment came when the new computer I ordered finally arrived and I knew my office needed to be cleaned up and rearranged to accommodate the new system. I am a firm believer in ‘pile files’ to a point but I also am a bit of a pack rat (not the same as the Rat Pack of Hollywood lore) so I knew some of the stuff just had to go. Luckily my husband agreed to help and we tackled every inch of my office with sweepers, dusters, trash containers, glass cleaners and disinfectant wipes. At the end of the day it was a more organized, spacious area that I really like to hand out in; and work of course! Sure I have the stray box of stuff stashed behind the chair that I’m still not sure what to do with but I know it is manageable and it will disappear shortly.

With my office now looking more professional instead of where everything goes that we don’t know what to do with I have decided that everybody, every room, every everything needs straightening up now and then. I believe when you find yourself with no motivation, writer’s block, the lazies, or in a slump you should stop whatever you are doing and straighten up something. What you ask? Well I just happen to have an answer.

Start cleaning up your car: clean out your console, glove box, and any other nooks and crannies including the dash, seats, under the seats, cup holders, and any strange sticky stuff that has taken up residence.

Start cleaning up your purse or briefcase: get rid of pens that don’t work, small trash, old files and folders, grocery lists, used tissues (guilty!), lipsticks you never use, that old tin of breath mints you forgot about, old business cards, expired coupons, the handful of change that rolls around (please put in a bank not the trash) and that melted piece of chocolate.

Start cleaning out one catch-all drawer: discard the jammed stapler, pens and markers that don’t write, group like items and put them in containers, envelopes or boxes; this works for stamps, rubber bands, paperclips, erasers, lead for pencils, and stray anything.

I think that is a big enough assignment today. Have any ideas about what needs to be straightened up? Awesome! Share with me below or send me an email to my ‘brand new not sure how everything works computer’ and I will share your list with everyone!

1. Make sure children are accompanied by an adult or responsible teenager when they go door to door.

2. If children are going to be out after dark, make sure they carry a flashlight. Make a fun one yourself with a plastic pumpkin cut to fit over the front of a regular flashlight.

3. Teach your children to use the sidewalks if they can. If there are no sidewalks, walk on the left side of the street facing cars.

4. Know which friends your children will be with and which route they are taking.

5. Leave your porch light on so children will know it’s OK to visit your home.

6. Instruct children to never to eat anything until they are home and the treats have been carefully examined. Cut and wash fruit before eating. Throw away anything unwrapped. Check the wrappers of commercial treats for evidence of tampering.

7. Look for the label Flame Resistant on purchased costumes or use fire resistant fabric or treat it with fire resistant spray if you make costumes yourself.

8. Small children should never carve pumpkins. Instead, let your child draw a face on the pumpkin with markers and paint, or use stickers to decorate.

9. Keep candles, pumpkins with candles, matches and lighters in a place that children and pets can’t reach and away from curtains and other objects that could catch fire.

10. Be extra careful when driving. Slow down and watch for children who might be so excited they forget safety rules.

This is my ‘decked out for fall’ front porch. I love this porch because it has room for our whole family and more to hang out and the ceiling fans make it comfortable through at least three seasons of the year. I obsess way too much when I decorate the porch, but it all works out and I think this fall I did an outstanding job! (maybe I went a little far with that statement but I’m leaving it in!)

    This is guy started out as a dried gourd, but every time I looked at the gourd I saw a bird so I turned it into my version of a quail. Now he perches on my front porch steps in a nest that blew out of a nearby tree. I think he’s pretty happy!

   I found awesome mums this year and using the two colors really walks the eye up and down the steps, don’t you think? For the other props I walked around my house and scavenged through my basement and attic to pull out items to accessorize the look.  Below you can see more details of how the decorations carry up onto the porch. Wish you were here!